| | Last updated April 18, 2010 These pages are a work in progress and offer different points of view regarding the many issues surrounding the use of butt toys and butt play in general. Many of you have been asking for advice and asking about resource material. The information herein is a response to that. This is ONLY intended to inform and should NOT be considered instructions for what you should do specifically. I am NOT a medical professional, nor do I know your body. Only you know what you are capable of and what is going to work for your very unique physiology. All of this info greatly benefits by how well you are in tune with your body and how well your are able to put your mind at ease and focus on your play. To speak personally, I have always felt that large dildo play and fisting was a lot like a meditative experience, noticing that my best play sessions came when I was most in tune with my Self ( and partner if fisting ) and able to focus clearly. Anything that could cloud my mind or disrupt my body's own rythm more often than not got in the way. Playing with large dildos or fisting should be regarded by you as an extreme 'sport' and as such, being well informed and following certain guidelines will help to minimize the risks. Having the right equipment at hand is also important, as is working within a certain set of guidelines to help ensure safety. As with any extreme sport, risk of personal injury always exists, but by taking the necessary precautions we can hope to minimize the risk to an acceptable level. Accidents can and do happen, your timely reaction to them when they occur could greatly minimize your level of injury and even save your life someday. I have not intentionally published copyrighted information, providing links to its home on the web instead wherever possible, but if I have inadvertently done so, please let me know. Some of what is presented here was found in the correspondence of list groups and much of what is found here is a collection of information I have heard shared between friends and play buddies peppered with my own personal experiences. All of what is here is presented in the spirit of community, sharing and the well being of us all. Do not view this a prescription nor guarantee of injury free play. In the case of direct contributions I have left out names for reasons of protecting anonymity. Cleaning out
Shallow play
Deep play
Physiology
Lubes
Warning signs | Cleaning out - the first step Techniques for cleaning out are as wide and varied as people themselves. Cleaning out is important to getting ready for some play time : feces is a gritty, abrasive substance that can cause harm - even instigate tears in the lining of your rectum and colon. The girth of some toys accentuate the risk by pressing debris against the walls and dragging it as you play. Some people like to play a little (or a lot) dirty. If this case, knowing what is up there is important. Nuts and seeds present the greatest risk because they don't break down in the body, coming from something as simple as a hamburger bun. Beware also of ground beef which can hide chips of bone or gristle. My personal nuisance is popcorn...love to eat it, but the hulls present a certain danger and linger for a day or so. Everything in life is a trade off, and by minimizing the risks while maximizing enjoyment you can hopefully maintain your hole for a lifetime of play. Playing deep (beyond the rectum and into the Sigmoid colon) requires a much more involved cleaning than what simple enema kits can provide. Shallow play. For anything that involves just the immediate cavity beyond the asshole, like the first 6-8 inches, a little bit of water (8-12 ounces) will work wonders in eliminating a lot of risk and making your play time more enjoyable - and a clean hole lacks any kind of offensive odor. If you have a health diet your body does not hold feces here so it is often pretty empty, only trace amounts might need to be removed. It's important to have had a good dump sometime before and allow your body to relax again. A simple flush will remove anything left behind and leave you squeaky clean. Lukewarm to cool, plain water is what most use (no soaps!). To get it inside you, most sex retailers sell the enema bulb, something like a modified turkey baster. In a pinch, I have heard of guys using a regular 16 oz plastic water or soda bottle, putting the mouth of the bottle up to their hole, not in it because of the threads, and squeezing. You get a dosed amount of water either way and won't over do it. There is also the old fashioned Enema bag. It doesn't take much water really. Sometimes doing the "squirt" enema can stimulate the nerves into a bowel movement, if it does that's good because there was something up a bit further that would have come down anyway once you started playing. If you're empty when you do the "squirt" chances are you won't feel the need to go. Beware of getting too much water in and having it enter the Sigmoid colon, which can often trigger a series of events that turns the quick rinse into a major flush. Deep play...into the sigmoid. If there is any chance you will be going deep, a more involved douching is in order. There really is no tried and true method for doing this....depending on your physiology, metabolism, health, everything really, you will just need to hear what other people do and try different things. It's good to keep in mind as well, that as time goes on and your body adapts to your play habits, your method will most likely evolve as well. Diet plays a major role for some, while for others it is nonexistent. The first step towards hassle-free cleanouts is knowing what your body's digestive clock is and what foods accelerate or slow it down. Practice by eating what are called tracer foods, sesame seeds or poppy seeds are good for this, and seeing how long they take to work through your system. You can do this by simply taking a handfull of seeds with a meal. Knowing your bodyclock is so key to happy cleanouts I can't stress it enough. It's partly knowing when everything has come out that prevents you from overdoing it and getting sore, it also gives you the confidence that will be key to helping you to relax later on. I envy those who can eat and do whatever they please and after only 30 minutes "on the hose" as one says, be ready for play. For these lucky few, this whole section is pretty much a mute point. I have heard of eating only clear liquids the day before, or only melon, or pasta, or no dairy. The only method I can't find merit in is fasting - you need your strength and energy for play and besides, when you stop eating your system slows way down and leaves stuff inside regardless. Indeed, the best thing might simply be to maintain a regular eating and elimination schedule and time your play periods at a time when you are most likely to naturally be empty. My own personal technique is what I call the 'rhythm method'. Facts : My body normally cycles food in 18 hours and I most always like to play at night after dinner. But I used to always have trouble being reliably clean, until I stumbled on a solution. By having a full meal with plenty of bulk at dinner time and not snacking afterwards I was able to solve my problem. By not snacking and then going to bed, I had almost a full 12 hours of 'clean space' in my digestive tract. When evening rolled around I had most always gotten rid of the previous night's dinner with simple bowel movement and all that was needed was a quick rinse and sometimes not even that. I knew I was free and clear for some playtime. I realized after the fact that my original problem was the snacking at night. By doing that I was "littering" my digestive track with debris. Eating better and more regularly was not only good for my playtime, but my health too. Hose vs. Bag. Are you a hose or a bag guy? A common designation within the community, hose refers to the nozzle and hose that attaches to your shower head and provides a limitless supply of fresh water to your colon, bag is the traditional red enema bag. Each has its advantages and disadvantages. Bags allow you to be portable and gauge exactly how much water you're using. For those that share households and installing a hose is just out of the question, bags offer the only option. Hoses are great for larger volumes of water and quicker cycling (no need to stop and refill). Careful though, shower drains aren't designed to carry solids so you will still need the proximity of a toilet. Though I heard once of someone refitting their shower drain to handle the extra volume, even going so far as to install a garbage disposal! Urban legend? I'll let you be the judge. There is also the colon tube, which is used in the medical profession to facilitate an efficient evacuation of the lower intestine. If you are novice enough to be seeking the advice in this article then the colon tube is NOT for you. They can be as long as 4 feet I am told, and some guys swear by them. But I think you should be VERY familiar with your body and reading it before embarking on such an intense method. A colon tube is a device intended to be used by professionals, most often in hospitals. Such deep manipulation should only be done by the most informed. Laxatives and such. The body really is a very adaptable thing and will take to whatever conditioning you put on it. Quick easy fixes will more often than not come back to bite you in the ass later on but developing good habits early on will pay off big down the road. I have seen a lot of and experienced some of the quick and easy solutions that go through the community every so often but none of them seem to have endured within my immediate circle. I speak here of herbal supplements or other over the counter medications. I'm chalking it all up to the 'placebo effect'. The mind really is your most powerful ally - work on developing healthy eating habits and relaxation techniques and you won't need any dependence on chemical solutions. | | Physiology One of the best books out there for describing the physiology of the anus, rectum and lower intestines is the book "Anal Pleasure and Your Health" by Jack Morin, PhD. Knowing just what is up there and then going in yourself with fingers to see just how everything is placed is essential to playing with the least amount of risk for injury. It has been an invaluable resource for me in the discovery of my own hole and understanding others'. Most gay / lesbian bookstores stock it or maintain it on backlist, I highly recommend it. | The Sphincters What most people never realize is that there are actually two outer sphincters composed of two rings of muscle, one is called the external, the other internal. You can actually feel them both with your finger if you know they are there....the external one is the one you can loosen or tighten at will. The internal is part of the autonomous nervous system, reason why your hole stays closed even when you're not focused on it. It requires practice and meditative relaxation to learn to 'control'. Contrary to what most believe it is not the sphincter that is primarily responsible for helping maintain continence (control over bowel movements). Hence, the urban legend believed by many not into butt play of guys having to wear diapers is obviously not founded in fact. The section of colon immediately inside the sphincter is called the rectum and is there to absorb any last bits of moisture. It's therefore important to think about what kind of toys, chemicals and lubes you put up there, since it will most likely find its way into your bloodstream. The Puborectalis, what some call the "Second Sphincter" Although you can have feces in your rectum, the bulk of it is held back by what Morin refers to as the 'pubo-rectal sling', in America known as the Puborectalis. It is a loop of muscle attached to the pubic bone at both ends and which wraps around the intestine to form what is essentially the boundary between the rectum and the sigmoid colon. A lot of people commonly refer to this as the 'Second Sphincter', some say the 'Third Sphincter' depending whether you count the anus as having 1 or 2. Clever and confusing but the puborectalis isn't a spincter at all. Calling it a sphincter is pretty natural when you consider that it functions much like our idea of one, and even delivers feelings like the asshole does when it is manipulated in a particular way, this I can personally attest to. On those lucky occasions when I have been able to take a fist past this point, or when I play with certain toys deep, during the withdrawal it can feel as though the hand comes out of me twice. Once, I wasn't watching the action 'down below' and at one point I had thought that my partner had completely come out. When I realized he was still pulling I looked down and saw he was still in about to the mid forearm. It was the second sphincter that had produced those feelings in me. But, caution must always be exercised when going this deep inside, choose your partner wisely and don't pressure yourself to do it. In the beginning, I beleive going that deep is something that just magically happens when all the pieces are in place. When people complain of a pain deep inside when either being fucked or playing with toys it is most likely the puborectalis that has not relaxed or is in a position to prevent opening. Sometimes I have felt a snapping feeling inside like a rubber band, which I often attributed to this muscle. Though, if snapping is what you are feeling it is most likely not a good thing. Since they are on the autonomous nervous system this muscle, along with the internal sphincter, respond to and store up stress. Uptight people have rightly earned the designation 'anal-retentive' for this reason . But through biofeedback one can learn to 'control' these muscles somewhat. So, needless to say that in the long run, peace of mind and good relaxation technique are as essential to a happy hole as anything else. | Depth play I would consider anything that goes beyond the area of the rectum (past the puborectalis) to be depth and requires certain attentions to safety and cleanliness. It is hard for a lot of people to play deep and not have totally pleasurable feelings at first. Remember that the "second sphincter" is what holds back feces and so, pressure applied to it from any direction, usually sends signals to your brain that it's time for a movement. Some people have to spend a lot of time desensitizing their second sphincter ( I sure did! ) and then, through relaxation techniques, learning to allow it to open. Others desensitize very readily. This is where you really should seek out someone you can trust and whom you know to be a respected and experienced depth player. When ever I hear of someone tearing a hole in their colon it is almost always from playing deep with a dildo, so care is always need. That is not to say you can never play deep with toys, but nothing can replace the tactile ability of a human hand. | Width play A lot of players usually have a preference for either depth or width and often refer to themselves in such a way, as in "I'm a depth person" or "I'm all about width". Others are just equally turned on by both, these are the "double wide and elbow deep" types. Personally I find that my preference oscillates between the two, so don't feel like you have to pin yourself down. Just as in depth play, it is just as important to pay careful attention to not over exert yourself when working on stretch play, either alone or with another. You would be shocked to know how much the asshole can expand when totally relaxed, just think of what they do in an emergency room to remove an object stuck in the rectum...they sedate and then go in with forceps. So a lot of what you are fighting against when opening up is stress or otherwise the fear that you are going to split wide open. I don't know how true this may be, but I do believe the skin and muscles still need to be conditioned to stretch so much. Much like an athlete develops and maintains flexibility. I draw an analogy to what you would do to begin strength training in your legs for example, gradually stretching your muscles over time until you are able sit on the floor, leg extended and touch your nose to your knee. What is happening is that you are gently tearing your muscles on the cellular level and allowing them to regrow to fill in the gaps, effectively lengthening and strengthening your muscle over time. I figure the same must also go for the sphincters, since they are muscles too and this is how I approached my own stretch training. A gradual cycle of stretching and adequate rest between to safely build up your hole for play seems to be good policy. This is a good place to help dispel a common fear to those wanting to get into bigger toys and fisting. "Will I become incontinent and will I be so loose that guys won't like fucking me anymore?" The short answer is NO and NO. Just because a muscle can stretch doesn't follow that it has no tone or strength, in fact, it should have more. Think of gymnasts and their ability to bend and yet be strong and toned. I'm not saying your hole will spring back immediately after a good play session, it usually takes several hours to a day, but you eventually regain your muscle tone and then some. It's been my own experience that strengthening your hole in this way will actually make it stronger and give you more control over the autonomous muscles, giving you grip and making you seem even tighter. And again remember, it's the puborectalis that is most responsible for your continence. | Lubes Overall, I cannot recommend any lube that contains non-oxynol 9. Its spermicidal properties are unnecessary and heavily outweighed by the damage it does to your colon, most likely making you even more susceptible to infection. Before understanding the effects of non-oxynol 9, I used to always choose it for safety reasons. My play sessions used to end with me feeling swollen and the next day having cramps and sloughing off a lot of mucous and what appeared to be intestinal lining. Once I learned what non-oxynol 9 did, I stopped using it and haven't had a problem since. Non-oxynol 9 has been demonstrated to dissolve the mucosal lining of your intestine and is currently banned in some places. Water based Fairly inert stuff. Good for toys that don't require you to stretch a lot. Great for getting that good, slick feeling. On large toys you may end up needing to add some grease to help combat the "squeegee" effect. My favorite lube is actually a blend of water based and grease. Grease Primarily Crisco and other vegetable based shortenings. Great for use in combination with water-based lubes when working with wider toys requiring a stretch. The grease clings to surfaces whereas the water-based stuff just squeegees off. Another favorite are the water soluble greases like "Elbow Grease" without non-oxynol 9 or "Shaft" because they offer the properties of grease but the easy water clean-up as well. Oil or grease attack latex and should not be used with latex toys or condoms however, toys made of silicone are impervious to grease and oil. Silicone based I have gone back and forth on the safety of using Silicone lubes with my silicone toys as I see no immediate ill effects but other producers of Silicone toys warn against it so I must do the same. The problem seems to be that the silicone lubes dissolve some types of silicones so consider yourself warned. To test a new lube with your toy rub some on the bottom where damage wouldn't matter as much and let set overnight. If you can rub off the color or abrade the surface where you applied the lube then it is not compatible. The only silicone lube I've ever used has been "Glide", which closely resembles "Eros" in feel. It doesn't harm my toys, but was impossible to wash off completely so they were always sticky. I stopped using any silicone lube on toys for this reason if no other. J-lube A staple in the veterinarian's office, its purpose is to aid the vet to do things like : insert her/his arm into a cow's or horse's rectum to check on fetal development, or, to perform artificial inseminations. Needless to say that it is great at reducing friction during play and can allow one to play for much longer than they might normally before getting sore. Same problem here as with water-based lubes however for larger toys, but adding crisco to the mix seems to help. For the MSDS (material safety data sheet) on this product click here. (this will take you outside of my site) It is basically a polymer based on sugar and polyethers and pretty inert. Being sugar based it will breed bacteria so only make what you will use in a few days. If you keep the large batch free of contamination (don't dip into it during play), freeze it until your next use. Try freezing it in an ice cube tray, makes for great little single servings when you need it. | Warning Signs While you're in the midst of ass play there are certain things that should always trigger you to stop and investigate and your doctor should be consulted whenever you have a question about your health. Blood is of course the number one reason to stop and re-examine your play. The lining of the intestines do not have pain receptors and so your vigilance could save your life some day. I have heard of people who had perforated their intestine and besides some bleeding had no other immediate indication that is what they had done. Most often when I hear of people injuring themselves in the community it is usually because they were on some type of drug that had clouded their judgment. Slightly pink lube usually indicates some ruptured capillaries or a hemorrhoid and can be common or routine for some. Bright red blood is an indication of a more active injury. Although this should never happen, it is a part of play for some. The most important thing is to know what is normal for your own body so that you can recognize when something EXTRA-ordinary happens. And NEVER hesitate to seek medical help if you 'know' something isn't quite right - even when there is no pain. Way in the beginning, when I first started playing with my ass with more intent, people not into butt play used to scare me by saying the intestine was like a wet paper towel and very delicate. Of course I was worried at first but after some investigation I realize they were just speaking out of fear. In actuality the whole of the intestinal wall is more like your cheek in structure than anything else. Yes, it is delicate on the inside, but it is backed up by muscle and tissue as well. Far more robust than the wet tissue paper of urban legend. It is still more vulnerable to puncture than your cheek however, in part due to the lack of pain receptors. The wet paper towel analogy might better apply to the thin lining , this is why anything that can scratch it needs to be avoided, food debris and nails are the two big ones. Hemmoroids can cause pain and slight bleeding to discolor your lube. If you know you have 'roids you have probably come to expect some color every time you play. Again, this is all about knowing what is 'normal' for YOU so that you can be alert to changes which might mean something serious. Communicating this to your play partner is always good practice, and a good Top will always ask you if color he sees is 'normal' for you. If he is unfamiliar with you he may also decide to stop play entirely at this point which, remember, is always his prerogative. Inserting toys without allowing your asshole to warm up and relax properly, or working way beyond what your ass is capable of stretching can cause fissures. These are actually small tears in the tissues surrounding your hole and can be the source of a lot of pain and can put you out of commission for weeks or months while they heal. Micro tears on the other hand are so small that the only way you know they are there is a burning sensation that occurs with play. It takes time to work up to taking a larger toy, so always allow yourself the time and enjoy yourself while protecting your 'ass'ets. I talk about the pubo-rectal sling above. When going any deeper than about 8 or 10 inches, depending on your body, you can be pretty sure that it is involved somehow. I have heard of a lot of people hurting themselves at this depth, even those experienced players like myself. It is an involuntary muscle and may not be reacting like you think it might be at any given point in time. A person can feel what is going on inside, but with toys you must exercise extreme caution and listen to your body. Bruising and tearing are what you must avoid here. The pubo-rectal sling is most involved in keeping you from being incontinent, so treat it gently and play with a clear head. | Copyright 1998-2007, SquarePeg. All Rights Reserved. | |
